Z.Monkey’s Blog

You may recall that I am taking a course that is supposed to improve the way I supervise peoples. In case you do not, look here. Today (now yesterday) was the second installment of this course. Like I may have said before I feel that writing about this course will make the shit talked about stick in my head. So I feel justified in writing about it at work. I’ll try to make this quick and painful… -less, -LESS!.

The day was divided into two parts (1) the hiring process (screening candidates, interviewing, not discriminating) and (2) reviewing employee performance. Each will be addressed separately.

Now the first half of the day (1) was pretty straight forward but useful. The whole time I was like, ‘yeah that makes sense’ or ‘I guess I kind of knew that’. One of the main things I learned was to create a matrix or table with all candidate and all desired skills (not education though because you cannot require education because it discriminates against Bill Gates). This makes it easier to compare each candidate and protects you from discrimination lawsuits… unless, of course, you do discriminate, at which point I would recommend burning the paper. The matrix technique can be used for both choosing people to interview and choosing the person to hire. Then you interview the person. You should come in prepared (holy shit!) with questions designed to get specific past examples of the skills you want in the employee. Basically the idea is that past performance will probably tell you a lot about future performance (i.e. if you were a dickhead, you will probably stay a dickhead). We were also give a list of questions that were discriminatory and a second list of questions that were not, so that we wouldn’t ask stupid things like, ‘Do you have children who will hinder you from working hideous amounts of overtime?’. There was a video! Finally, save all paperwork involved, including notes on candidates; if you are sued you have to prove that you didn’t discriminate. (In case you were wondering much of the morning was spent on possible ways to discriminate, which is the reason it kept coming up in this paragraph.)

Then the second half of the day (2) was given to a topic that I know nothing about. Reviewing people’s performances. I have never really been reviewed and I have never reviewed anyone. Some people would say that this is a good thing as it means I will not get fired and will not have to fire anyone, but that’s crap. Firing is a long process which has to be documented (verbal, written, probation, termination! or something). The review is supposed to give the employee an idea of where to go based on how they have performed in the past. In this section they talk about employees need clear job descriptions, clear goals, and a clear way of evaluation. Once this is in place reviewing should be easy because you can say, ‘According to this predefined system you are an idiot. How do you think we can remedy this?’ Now, during this entire section I was a little perturbed. I do not have a clear job description… hell I wrote my job description and I did not know what I was getting myself into! I do not have any really goals; I cannot make goals for myself (ask Heidi) and no one here will make them for me. Plus there is no evaluation system here. I do not know if I am doing what is expected of me or not. Then I realized that I am doing the same thing to the people who work under me. Great. How to fix that? Come up with a clear job description. Keep tabs on how everyone is doing (good work, bad stuff, project ongoing and completed, testing proficiency, e&c). Anything else?

During both an interview and a review it is possible to have some difficult situations so remember this: you are in charge and you are right so own everything you say (’I think you are a dickhead’), and ask open-ended questions that get specific answer or force the employee to come up with the solution. Basically, lead the employee into saying what you want them to say, that way they have to agree with you. Manipulation! Use your hands!

P.S. I am attempting to use a trackback. Wish me luck!
P.P.S. I hope that I can continue to amuse Dan with my inane ramblings.
P.P.P.S. Is the login thing really killing all the comments? Let me know by phone if necessary.
P.P.P.P.S. I didn’t really read through this and I stopped to have a conversation during it so forgive any bad grammah.
P.P.P.P.P.S. Sorry for the dearth of links.